My journal

I'll probably keep a journal on here since i'm very forgetful

Stay tuned for updates

Today I visited the ASTEC lab and was given a proper tour. They have everything from 3-D printers to mannequins for health professions. The person giving me the tour was a grad student who was the main simulation specialist, he was going to change from full time to part time. So basically he was looking for someone to take his place while he switched to part time to study more medicine.

My chances at the lab are pretty much set in stone, I just need to wait till the position opens up then i'll basically have the job. Even if I somehow dont get the job at the lab, I have a backup plan to join the Navy.

I still plan on living my life, trying new things, experiencing something new, just trying my best to feel alive. I probably have to wait a long time anyway to get the one thing I want most of all in this world. So I need to keep myself distracted while time marches forward.

I never liked those self-gratifying phrases that people use. "Great minds think alike" or "Curiosity killed the cat" most of them that we use today are only sections of the whole quote to fit our needs.

The real quotes go "Great minds think alike, small minds rarely differ" and "Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back."

Especially the quote that my friends try and tell me "If you love someone, set them free" but the full quote is "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were".

But yeah that quote doesn't apply to me since there was never any doubt.

Falling asleep next to you was the best sleep I ever got.

This was probably one of the worst weekends of my life

I thought I was getting better, then cold reality set in

It's ironic really, you tell me to move on and forget about you

But this separation only confirms and empowers my love for you

A blessing and a curse

I'm so mad at myself

It's barely been 2 days, literally DAYS, and I'm missing you this much. I was contempt, you helped prepare myself for it, for the long haul. I mean I still am, but I cant believe how much I miss you. Its different this time too, cause I know you're still there, so I dont have to be all edgy and whatnot. But it still doesn't make it any easier. I still miss you so so so much, but I'm just not as depressed about it like before.

I know you're doing your best so I cant be greedy, since this is the easiest way for you. I'll just hold on to this string that's connecting us as hard as I can and tough it out. I'm always here too in case things get too tough to handle alone.